My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I’ve always been curious and didn’t have any real knowledge of Khubilai Khan apart from a Rush song called Xanadu written by Neil Peart (1977) about a fragmented poem written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1797) when Coleridge was on opium after he read Samuel Purchas’s (1625) tweaked version of Marco Polo’s ‘The Romance of the World’ which is his account (1278) of Khubilai Khans city and “pleasure dome” in Shangdu AKA Xanadu meaning in Chinese “Northern Capital”.

I enjoyed this book but it was a history book and therefore could be a little dry if you’re not that keen on reading about history. It was pieced together chronologically using heavy research from all pre-existing documents and books (referenced in the back) on The Great Khan and his empire. In other words, this is a simplified story about Mongolian history between 1145 and 1368. I can imagine books like this get history professionals in a huff because they think its lacking in some details or putting opinionated ideas on historic matters, but that’s for the history geeks to fight about. It does say at the top of the book “A Brief History of”. I think Clements remained as neutral as he could in telling this story.

I was personally hoping for more about Xanadu itself due to reason mentioned above, but at the end of the day there are only a handful of actual accounts of the place so you work with what you’re given. I did learn a lot about Chinese History, at least the Yuan dynasty, and this book definitely added some knowledge and insight into my brain parts. I don’t know what parts; I’ll have to read a book about that to find out and post a review to let you know about those parts.

I’m glad I read this, but unless someone has an interest in Khubilai, who was the first emperor to unite North and South China, then I’d pass on it and continue reading Tom Clansy or Running with Scissors, or whatever it is you enjoy.

Poem by: Samuel Taylor Coleridge

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure-dome decree :

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea. (lines 1-5)

So twice five miles of fertile ground

With walls and towers were girdled round:

And here were gardens bright with sinuous rills,

Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;

And here were forests ancient as the hills,

Enfolding sunny spots of greenery. (lines 6-11)

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted

Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!

A savage place! as holy and enchanted

As e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted

By woman wailing for her demon-lover! (lines 12-16)

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,

As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,

A mighty fountain momently was forced:

Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst

Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,

Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher’s flail:

And ‘mid these dancing rocks at once and ever

It flung up momently the sacred river.

Five miles meandering with a mazy motion

Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,

Then reached the caverns measureless to man,

And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean: (lines 17-28)

And ‘mid this tumult Kubla heard from far

Ancestral voices prophesying war! (lines 29-30)

The shadow of the dome of pleasure

Floated midway on the waves;

Where was heard the mingled measure

From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,

A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice! (lines 31-36)

A damsel with a dulcimer

In a vision once I saw:

It was an Abyssinian maid,

And on her dulcimer she played,

Singing of Mount Abora.

Could I revive within me

Her symphony and song,

To such a deep delight ‘twould win me,

That with music loud and long,

I would build that dome in air,

That sunny dome! those caves of ice! (lines 37-47)

And all who heard should see them there,

And all should cry, Beware! Beware!

His flashing eyes, his floating hair!

Weave a circle round him thrice,

And close your eyes with holy dread,

For he on honey-dew hath fed,

And drunk the milk of Paradise

Xanadu: by Rush (Written by Neil Peart)

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This is an extraordinary true story about a truly amazing and extraordinary man. My friend Steve in Australia, an older gent, gave it to me two years ago to read thinking I would like it. Well he was right. I did. I do. And I’m sort of sorry it took me this long to read it but I am sort of glad I did, because it was my travelling book companion through Laos and Malaysia. At times I would be on a boat going down a river and reading about Papillon on a boat going down a river. He was in prison whilst I was in a prison like $5 guesthouse in Laos eating prison ration foods on a backpacker’s budget. I started reading this book in Loas, and picked at it sometimes fiercely and other times sparingly from Luang Prabang down to Vientiane. Then continued reading in Kuala Lumpur and finally finished it in my prison cell style share house here in Langkawi, Malaysia. Not as interesting as his story but sometimes there’s a story in reading a story and this is mine. A good book can be a perfect accompaniment to travelling or time or place in your life similar to how a good wine or beer can perfectly accompany a meal.

In the forward that the English translator Patrick O’Brien (the book was written in French and pigeon Spanish by Papillon in Venezuela 20 years after his freedom) mentioned a funny quote from a Minister in France in the early 1970’s who said “The present hopeless moral decline of France is due to the wearing of miniskirts and to the reading of Papillon.” Yes, this book had an impact on the French when it was released and it had an impact on me. Not in the sense that I think this Minister was implying or how the rebellious angst riddled youth of France took it, with a sort of romantic view of the underworld and rising against the man, but how Papillon himself had lived and meant to get across in his telling of this story; that is appreciation of the human spirit, the ability to challenge oneself, keep a positive attitude in the face of anything life throws at you, and to try and be a good man and appreciate the kindness of good people.

Yes, there is a lot of ugly prison stuff taking place in his story, but you sort of understand the code that they lived by or tried to live by anyway. I can’t really add much to say what others haven’t said so I’ll just put some quotes from French papers upon the release of this book to fluff it out a bit.

‘A book of incredible humour, suffering, horror; full of the unshakable will to live’ – France-Soir

‘One closes this book drunk with adventure, overcome with compassion’ – L’Express

‘Papillon is a ravaging chain of stories…after the first few pages you are taken by the scruff of your neck, hauled along at full speed to the end where you are left, exhausted and stupefied, with just enough breath left to ask: “How is it possible for a man to live through all this without dying a thousand times and without going mad?”’ – Le Nouvel Observateur

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I thought this book was going to end as a two or three star book because it was coming across as a passive aggressive attack against religious fundamentalists and that in the end all roads lead to the same place. Well… it is that book but once I got through the hump of Pi, the young Indian kid making these discoveries, the book turned out to be one of the most amazing literary experiences of my life.

This book is about a young kid named Pi who grows up in India in a zoo and learns all about the Christian, Muslim, and a Hindu faiths creating controversy with his equal support of all three. He then moves to Canada when their family has to sell all the animals in their zoo to various buyers world wide. The ship sinks and Pi is trapped on a lifeboat for 8 months with a hyena, zebra, orangutan, and a bangle tiger. You learn a lot of facts about zoology, Muslim and Hindu faith, and nautical survival secrets. It was a very educational, well researched and entertaining read.

There were parts that I was so stressed and terrified, parts I was laughing like a fool, and at one stage I put the book down and wept so bitterly and profusely like I haven’t in 12 years. It’s an extremely well written book and there were a few spots I took out a pen and started underlining because they were quotes I wanted to keep track of.

Examples:

Pg. 302 – “I know what you want. You want a story that won’t surprise you. That will confirm what you already know. That won’t make you see higher or further or differently. You want a flat story. An immobile story. You want dry, yeastless factuality.”

Pg. 317 – “So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can’t prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story, the story with animals or the story without the animals?” – “With the animals” – “Thank you. And so it goes with God.”

This is one of those books I know I can never write. It doesn’t put me off to writing, but it does put me in my place as a would be wanna be one. In a bar in Luang Prabang I spoke to a woman from the UK about books and mentioned this one. She said it was on her to read list. After I was done slurring about it she promised me she would move it up on her list.

So there you have it.

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This book, or short story rather, has a little bit of literary controversy surrounding it because it has been released as Jules Verne however most believe, as do I, that his son Michael, who wasn’t as good of a writer, wrote at least half of it. Partially because of this the story isn’t the most loved of his works, which is sort of a shame, not because it’s a great and gripping story, it’s not, but if you look at the fact that it was written, by father or son, in the late 1800’s, we can see impressive imaginative insight on the world we see today.

Ideas in the story reminded me of things from Star Trek, Futurama, and many books written over the years. We see the invention of podcasts, video conferencing, food replicators, sleep chambers, and phone calls worldwide. America owns England, Australia is its own country, and China and Russia are rubbing elbows to be the world superpower.

George Washington Smith is the main character who is sort of a John D. Rockefeller/Bill Gates rolled into one of the time and also is not technically part of government he is so rich and so influential that he might as well be made King of America according to the story.

It was an alright story. I should give it more credit for its possible influence on Science Fiction created after this, but for some reason I can’t. It’s hard to really get into it because I wasn’t alive in the 1890’s, but I can acknowledge the imaginativeness in this work. It’s an extremely quick read which made it worth it. Had it have been a full size novel I probably wouldn’t have read it, but who knows maybe that would have given the author time and space to do something really fun and interesting with it. Two stars.

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This is Robert Louis (Balfour) Stevenson’s 5th novel, which was published in 1886, 3 years after Treasure Island. It was considered a “boy’s novel” as it was apparently aimed at a younger audience but it is also a “historical novel” because the accuracy of the geography and political events that occurred in the highlands in the 1700’s. Some characters are based on real life characters, others are not, and the story in itself certainly is not. After reading this and thinking of the audience it was intended for, I think this is a good example of where “teen literature” has gone wrong in modern times.

If you go into a bookstore and look in the teen section now days you will likely not find too many books of this calibre. I’m a man, A MAN DAMNIT! and I really liked this book. I don’t think it is as well known these days compared to Treasure Island and that is likely because it is extremely Scottish and chalked full of slang that, in my edition, had little * next to some words to define what it was. Truly though, half of the time I had Google next to me to know just what the hell things like collops, gossamer, baird or brogues were. I also had to take a time out to look at maps to figure out where all these isles and sounds where geographically in Scotland. In other words it’s not a book I could have likely attempted as a 13 year old American C student.

I actually liked this book a lot more than Treasure Island which surprised me because I for some reason thought this was a B list Stevenson book. Once you realised that you should be reading in a heavy Scottish accent (Though I be honest I was talking like a pirate for Alan) throughout the whole read and settle into that, the book is really quite gripping and has nonstop action. David Balfour, who is the main character of the book is a coming of age young lad (similar to Jim Hawkins of Treasure Island) who is thrown into one bad situation after another and runs into some of the worst scoundrels and swindlers one after another.

Often times the reader doesn’t know who to trust or what’s going to happen next which is precisely why Robert Louis Stevenson is such a great classic writer. This book was fun and kept me up until 3am on a couple nights. I sort of compared it to a Scottish Young Guns 2 taking place in 1752 but only with Billy the Kid and Balthazar Getty’s youthful character Tom O’Folliard. So Young Guns 2 meets Braveheart in a nut shell. I dare you to challenge me on that. Anyone! (crickets) Nobody ever will.

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**WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS**

Here is another book from a pile I nabbed off a girl I worked with that had to get rid of stuff to move to Canada. Based off the back cover I knew it was about a guy in New York who had a drinking problem, went to rehab, returned to New York, and then have to try and live sober. It is those things, but much, much gayer.

I will note that in the beginning of this book, there is “AUTHORS NOTE: This memoir is based on my experiences over a ten-year period. Names have been changed, characters combined, and events compressed. Certain episodes are imaginative re-creation, and those episodes are not intended to portray actual events.”

In other words giving him license to basically write a fiction novel loosely based off of personal experiences. If I did my review based off of his Authors Note I would give this book 1 Star. I will review it without the authors note however and give it two. This is my reason why:

Parts of the first half of this book and the end I thought were good although it is very obvious that most of it is very embellished on and later upon doing research I see this “memoir” book for what it is. There are many holes in it and one thing I had a problem with is where he says that when he goes into rehab he was drinking a full bottle of Scotch a night along with 11 Benadryl’s because he was “allergic to alcohol”. If you are drinking a bottle of Scotch a night along with that many allergy pills for months on end then all of a sudden have to stop and in your first night sober, your first night in rehab, followed by a forced 29, you would be a complete mess going through the many stages of alcohol withdrawals. There is no mention of any of this and he was fine enough on his first night that it didn’t require any detail in his memoir. At the end of the book he talks about these things where he goes through them but it sounds more like he’s listing symptoms he read off Wikipedia.

This is my problem with this book; it glosses over the actual real parts of alcoholism (until the end) and focuses more on having crazy crushes on boys. Halfway through I thought this book is a writer writing about hooking up with dudes under the guise of an edgy alcoholic recovery tale. People eat up memoirs about addicts, and killers, and dudes in prison. Maybe it makes them feel like they’re not so tragic after all. Sort of a self help book by comparison. I think that this was the plan with this book. I’m not saying these things didn’t happen, I just think it was crafted and embellished and a better editor should have fixed this if they wanted it to be more realistic.

When the book is not about alcoholism and the struggle of being sober, it’s really just a teenage Stephenie Meyer (Twilight) style gay romance book and I had to skim over quickly a lot of the parts where he is writing just like her. He even says on page 132 “People often compare gay guys to teenage girls and they are right, I realise now.” He also talks about his hatred for Mormons, which all I have to say is, well, you can’t knock them too hard, because you write like one. (Stephanie Meyer)

The part of the book where he is talking to the German guy in a meeting for a beer advertising campaign constantly calling him “the Nazi” is the part I realised I hated the guy writing this book. I was going to give it three stars based on the titbits of addictive facts and solutions and helpfulness this book can be to people with problems with addiction (which it IS good for) but no, Augusten (real name Christopher Robinson) works in advertising. He spins. He dramatises. That’s his personality. He says so in the book. It’s who he is. And at the end I think he is just another phony writer with marketing experience along with a team of editors and a publisher to create a book James Frey style. (A Million Tiny Pieces) I think he’s trying to be a cross between Chuck Palahniuk and David Sararis and fails.

Burroughs wrote Running with Scissors which mass book consumers rave about. I will never know because I’ll never read another book by this man. Both books are marked to be made into movies and/or Showtime dramas, which doesn’t surprise me. The masses love their junk food.

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This book was recommended to me by a few co-workers back in Melbourne. It took me a long time to finally get to it and even longer to actually finish it, after closing the final page at noon in my stuffy hotel room in Chiangmai, Thailand; well I’m glad I finally did. It’s a great and clever adventure that I would describe as fusing Oliver Twist, The Count of Monte Crisco, and The Princess Bride all rolled into one.

I wasn’t sure I was going to like this book because it’s basically about thieves and long cons which isn’t really something I normally like, but the book really surprised me. There were times that I thought, “Okay, I see where this is going. I know what’s going to happen. Man am I a clever shit!” Well I wasn’t and I’m not. I couldn’t figure out where it was all going in the end the Scott Lynch, whose first book this is, did a masterful job at weaving a truly engrossing story.

Scott was born 9 days after me in 1978 in St Paul, MN where I used to live. Its guys like this who make me ashamed I’ve accomplished so little myself being the same age. Well I’m a fan now and will eventually read his next book in this series called Red Seas Under Red Skies when I get through my pile of books already in my reading queue. He has a third one (3rd of 7) coming out in March 2012 so maybe I’ll have #2 read by then. I doubt it.

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My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Upon moving to Thailand I packed a small amount of clothes, filled the rest with physical books that I had yet to get to, and filled my Kindle up with enough free classic Kindle books to last me till 2013. I only have one dodgy ceiling light in my bungalow here in Phuket so during the day I read a physical book, but during night I read my Kindle via the light built into the $70 cover I bought which turned out to be almost half the price of the Kindle itself. I don’t care, I see now it was worth it. Treasure Island was my first Thailand Kindle read and I give it three stars. I liked it.

“Nickolas you idiot! This is a classic novel by Robert Luis Stevenson, one of your favourite authors! How could you only give it three stars! Everyone knows you have to give this 4 or 5 stars by default do to its classicness!” I disagree with you anonymous fictitious quotation. Also, “classicness” isn’t even a word. Go back to school made up person in my head.

This IS a classic and great story that has influenced everything from the Monkey Island Series to a giant hotel casino, to the absolutely horrible Pirates of the Caribbean Disney movies. Had I read this when I was younger, when I was SUPPOSED to have read it, I would have very likely had given it either a ‘really liked it’ 4 star or the ‘YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK AND LOVE IT OR YOU ARE BENEITH ME’ youthful idealist readers 5 star rating. I’m 33 now so I give it an ‘I’m slightly jaded’ 3 star that at this time I feel the reading experience lent me.

This isn’t an attack on Treasure Island by any means. I just found some parts of the book confusing such as when Jim Hawkins snuck away to steal the boat which was considered great by the doctor, but then it turned out was bad and he didn’t steal the boat. I just think the book could have used a couple more reads by author and editor in two specific areas, the end being one of them.

On a side note, after reading this I now wonder how the US fish food chain “Long John Silvers” can name themselves after such a dodgy character. It’s like calling your restaurant “Benedict Arnold’s Chicken and Waffles”. Anyway, yes, this is a classic. I liked it. I wish I read it when I was younger. I will read it to the kids someday that I’ll someday never have and they will like it. Otherwise it’s spanking time followed by a time out.
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This was book 6 of 7 of the Marvel Dark Tower adaptations and it left me feeling a little bit disappointed in the end. The writing was probably the most inferior of the series being a bit cheesy and sparse. The artwork was consistent with the previous volumes and of high computer driven quality. I’m not going to rush out and get #7. I’ve spent too much money on this series as it is.

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